He has asked for a divorce, yet, one thought is particularly nagging: my husband wants divorce but still sleeps with me.
Part of the divorce process is getting mixed signals from your spouse due to emotional attachment, especially in long marriages.
In this article, we look at what it could mean if a husband wants a divorce but sleeps with you and the possible legal issues surrounding this scenario.
What Does It Mean if My Husband Wants a Divorce but Still Sleeps With Me?
In most cases, it means your husband is not ready to detach from the marriage. While your marriage could have been rocking for the past years, the very thought of separating and severing marital ties by signing divorce paperwork can cause sadness, panic, regret, and fear.
Is It Advisable to Sleep Together?
Sleeping with or divorcing but sleeping in the same bed with your soon to be ex-husband when they have made it clear they want a divorce can be detrimental to the process. However, it is an opportunity to test the waters of divorce and find out whether there is hope for your marriage.
Yet, it is not as easy as it sounds. Intimacy during divorce process can be very confusing. It can be difficult to achieve clarity on your feelings and the state of your marriage if you are still sleeping with a husband who wants a divorce. Even with this realization, it does not always mean that resisting the urge to sleep with your spouse will be easy.
Every situation is unique – what works for one couple may not for the next. Generally, if you have no doubts that your marriage is not going to work out, avoid, at all costs, being intimate with your spouse. Otherwise, sleeping together could be beneficial if both of you feel there is a real chance of salvaging your marriage.
Pros and Cons of Sleeping Together
There are various opinions regarding sleeping with a spouse who wants a divorce. To better analyze this situation, here are some benefits and downsides to sleeping with a husband that wants a divorce.
While it is largely advisable to stay separately and apart from your spouse if they want a divorce, some benefits may accrue by sleeping together. Here are some of those.
– You May Overcome the Lack of Intimacy in Your Marriage
If the lack of intimacy is one of the reasons your husband wants a divorce, sleeping with him can be an opportunity to overcome this issue. Hopefully, you can rekindle the flame that may have gone out during your marriage.
However, if you decide to go this way, there are essential things you should remember. Keep your expectations in check, as this may not always go your way. You and your spouse could still feel that the marriage is not headed anywhere, even after being intimate for some time.
Be prepared to detach and move on if getting sexually intimate with your spouse does not repair your broken marriage. If you can’t handle the potential adverse results of this situation, you are better off staying away from your spouse during separation and divorce.
– Possible Recreation of a Connection
Sleeping together has a way of creating a sense of bonding and connection between two people. If distance and a lack of connection are why your husband wants a divorce, you may have a good chance of restoring the closeness by sleeping together. He may just be confused about divorce.
– It May Reduce Stress and Anxiety
Sometimes, a spouse might ask for a divorce out of the blue. It can be stressful if there are no signals to prepare you for this. However, sleeping with your husband can help eliminate some of this stress and even help you communicate calmly and clearly.
– You May Fall in Love Again
Most couples, especially those in long marriages, admit that their spouses are their “best friends.” This strong connection is established over the years and hardly goes away even after a divorce. What better way to rediscover that love than by spending quality time together?
There are also drawbacks of sleeping with a husband who wants a divorce. If your husband asks for a divorce and you still sleep together, you could be taking a huge gamble. Here is why sharing a bed with your want-away husband is probably a bad idea.
– Minimal Chances of Rebuilding Your Marriage
Deciding that you want a divorce requires a great deal of soul-searching. If your husband tells you he wants a divorce, he most likely means it. Worse yet, he could be past the point of trying to make the marriage work – no matter what, his mind is made up.
If this is the case and you still sleep with him, hoping to change him, you could be doing yourself a huge disservice. You will have your emotions shattered as there are minimal chances of saving your marriage in such circumstances.
– Possible Involvement With Another Partner
If your husband has already asked you for a divorce and is now separated, chances are he is seeing someone else. He is probably keeping and sleeping with you to explore his options – he his having his cake and eating it.
If you already know about it and still sleep with him, you could be doing so, hoping that he will choose you over their new partner. In such a situation, it is wise to avoid getting intimate with your husband, as both parties will end up getting hurt.
– High-risk, Low-reward Strategy
Sleeping with your husband, who has asked for a divorce, means investing your emotions and hoping to rebuild your marriage. You wll likely experience strong emotions mixed with hope, love, and loss.
If you’re past rebuilding your marriage, you will have to put up with the feeling of disappointment. If you wish to try this strategy, ensure that both of you feel there is a chance to rebuild your marriage.
How To Deal With Your Husband
If a spouse is serious about divorce, they will try to maintain some distance by living separately as they prepare to file the divorce petition. If your husband wants a divorce and still sleeps with you, there are things you can do to have clarity of thoughts and avoid getting hurt in the end.
– Maintain Clear Communication
Communication is as important in the moments preceding a divorce as during marriage. You will want to know what your spouse wants to understand how to proceed before and during a divorce. Even if your marriage is on the brink of falling apart, remaining open with each other can help prevent further heartache.
Clear communication can also make it easier to identify and understand the problems in the marriage. The sooner you agree that these problems can’t be fixed, the faster you can move on with your divorce. Also, you will avoid compromising the process by avoiding sleeping together.
– Take a Firm Stand
If your husband has asked for a divorce but is sleeping with you, you are the only one who stands to lose. The best you can do in this situation is to be resolute and firm, as this will help you establish boundaries with your husband. Making your mind up regarding divorce will also help you avoid being emotionally invested, especially if you have already tried rebuilding your marriage.
– Seek Professional Counsel
If you are concerned about your husband’s approach to your imminent divorce, it is vital that you speak to a qualified and experienced marriage counselor. These professionals handle different marriage issues daily and can guide you on the steps to take.
Concerned that sleeping with your husband during the separation period will affect the divorce? Speak to a family lawyer to determine if your actions may have legal implications.
When marriage issues can’t seem to go away, most spouses will likely seek a divorce from their partners. But some spouses may ask: what do I do since my husband wants a divorce but still sleeps with me? It can be a tricky situation, and we have discussed what this could mean and the possible actions to take. Below is a rundown of this discussion:
- If your husband asks for a divorce but still sleeps with you, it could mean they fear losing what they have enjoyed for years.
- Sleeping with a husband who has asked for a divorce is not advisable unless both of you are willing to rebuild your marriage.
- Living separately and avoiding intimate connections can help you get better clarity of thoughts and see what is best for you.
- Seeking the professional advice of a marriage counselor or lawyer can help you make the right decision if your want-away husband is still sleeping with you.
While letting go of a relationship spanning years can be difficult for both parties, you’ll want to do the right thing if your spouse asks for a divorce. It would be best if you avoided intimacy during divorce process to understand the situation better and make the right decision.
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