Divorce Controlling Husband: Tips To Minimize Chances of Abuse

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By Divorce & Finance

How do i divorce controlling husbandDivorce controlling husband by employing strategies that address the spouse’s manipulative behavior and ensure that the divorce process goes well. While it may seem like a mountain to many, remember that living with a man who wants to control every aspect of one’s life isn’t every woman’s dream.

Dealing with a controlling husband during a divorce can be an extremely challenging situation. Many seek advice on how to stop a controlling husband from dominating the divorce process.

If you find yourself thinking, ‘how to stop my controlling husband,’ it’s important to approach the situation with the right strategies. Learning how to deal with a controlling husband involves understanding the dynamics of control and seeking support.

Whether you’re currently in the process or married to a controlling man and considering divorce, having the right tools and knowledge is crucial.

This article will give you tips to divorce a controlling husband and protect yourself against domestic abuse.

How Do I Divorce Controlling Husband?

To divorce controlling husband, you’ll need to apply strategies that prevent them from knowing about your plans. Since they’re controlling or manipulative, you need to ensure they don’t have any clue about your quest for divorce. If they realize it, they may try to slow down or cause domestic violence.

It’s never anyone’s wish to live with an abusive partner. Therefore, you need to find ways to walk out without someone blocking your way. Below are tips we thought you should apply if you plan to divorce a controlling husband.

– Plan Ahead for Your Divorce

If you’ve decided to divorce your manipulative husband, it’s best to consult an attorney in advance to plan for everything. A divorce lawyer will guide you on keeping things in order and initiate the process. The most vital thing here is not alerting your spouse.

Some of the steps to take in advance with your attorney before filing for divorce include:

  • Collecting and categorizing personal assets
  • Tracking down your husband’s assets
  • Identifying the right child psychologists
  • Gathering all the relevant evidence to support your divorce
  • Preparing the required paperwork

With these actions in place, you can begin the process.

– Minimize Communication by Using a Lawyer During the Process

Once you’ve filed for divorce, it’s better to minimize direct communication with your husband. This helps prevent further manipulation from him. If by any chance, you need to communicate, then you’ll have to use your lawyer as the intermediary.

The lawyer will handle all communications with your husband concerning the legal matters of your divorce. To minimize communication between divorcing couples, a lawyer can help with:

  • Servicing court papers
  • Requesting relevant documents and pieces of evidence
  • Overseeing settlement negotiations
  • Scheduling for mediation

– Both Parties Don’t Need To Agree Before the Legal Process

It’s still possible to move on with the divorce process even if your partner isn’t willing. Don’t hesitate to seek divorce with the fear that your controlling husband may not cooperate. The current divorce laws don’t require both parties to agree before calling it quits.

As long as irreconcilable differences cause an irreparable breakdown, you can ask for a divorce. Moreover, you only need to fulfill the residency requirements in your current state to seek this process. Upon serving the complaint of divorce with the help of your lawyer, your husband will have a legal duty to respond.

If they fail to do so, the court will grant you a default divorce judgment. The court will approve every aspect of your divorce complaint. A spouse with coercive control cannot stop your quest for divorce as long as you have substantial reasons.

– Be Neutral When Communicating With Your Husband

Avoid any domestic violenceIf you have to communicate directly with your husband, apply a high level of professionalism to avoid any domestic violence.

Since your controlling husband is manipulative, he may decide to bring in other issues that may affect your emotions and even result in a fight.

You need to remain neutral and avoid getting emotional. If necessary, you should only communicate via text or email. Maintain a boring and factual conversation so your husband won’t engage in many talks.

– Gather a Qualified Team to Divorce Manipulative Husband

For a successful divorce process, you need to have everything done right. This also implies engaging the right minds. When picking a lawyer to represent you, ensure it’s someone that has some long-term experience with family law cases about controlling or manipulative spouses.

With this, you can seamlessly navigate the entire process of disengaging from your controlling husband. You should also ensure that the lawyer is someone you trust. You may also need a therapist or counselor to help tackle any emotions during and after the divorce process.

It’s common to experience emotional difficulties during divorce (especially involving a controlling spouse). However, investing your time and money in a good counseling group can simplify things. You can seek the help of therapists and mental health specialists for divorce therapy.

– Divorce Controlling Spouse With the Help of Your Support Circle

Navigating the divorce process alone is quite difficult. Since divorce is isolating in nature, it may lead to depression for either party. It’s therefore essential that you have some close friends and family to support you socially during the divorce.

To keep engaged, ensure you organize some social and recreational activities with them. This helps with boosting your mood even as you face this challenging part of your life.

How Do I Survive a Controlling Husband?

Sometimes, a controlling husband could go overboard and start abusing you and your children during the divorce process. If you find yourself in this situation, the first step is to seek safety from your abusive spouse.

Next, inform the authorities and consult your attorney on the best course of action. You’ll need to implement the following measures to protect yourself against physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from your controlling husband during the divorce.

  • Ask for Temporary Restraining Orders (TRO). If your controlling husband turns abusive, you can request the court for a TRO against them. The TRO will help limit your contact with the person subjecting domestic violence to you. It also comes with temporary child custody and child support orders. After granting you a TRO, the court schedules a date for the final restraining order to your domestic violence case.
  • Seek a Final Restraining Order. To make the temporary orders permanent, you’ll need to give the court valid reasons. You must prove that the abuse happened and that you should receive consistent protection against your abusive husband. To substantiate your allegations, you may need to provide evidence in photos and prove any form of physical abuse.

You can also screenshot and submit any evidence of email harassment to the court. The court can grant you a final restraining order against a violent husband.

  • Emphasize on Attorney-to-Attorney Communication. Another way to minimize the chances of possible emotional abuse from your husband is to reduce direct communications. You should use a family law attorney to communicate with your husband’s attorney or directly with him if he never picked one.

Applying the above measures guarantees you and your children’s safety during the divorce.

Frequently Asked Questions

– What Makes My Husband Controlling?

Your husband could be controlling because of anxiety or personality disorders. A person with an anxiety disorder feels the urge to control people and everything around him to feel at peace. People also become controlling because they don’t trust others to do things the right way or as per their wishes.

– Can a Controlling Husband Change?

Yes, a controlling person can change their behaviors. They must be genuinely committed to it and take the necessary steps to ditch their manipulative behavior. However, this is not possible for many people, especially men.

– Is My Spouse Truly Controlling or Just Caring?

There’s a significant difference between a caring and controlling person. The former is selfless and loving, while the latter has feelings of resentment and insecurity. Therefore, it’s easy to know if your husband is controlling or not.

– Why Is My Husband So Controlling?

He may be so controlling because he feels you lack the best ideas on how your marriage or love should work. He, therefore, feels entitled to control everything in your marriage, including you.

– Can You Change a Controlling Husband?

The chances of making your husband change their controlling behavior are quite minimal. It’s only upon them to note that their manipulative behavior isn’t good for your marriage and should therefore change for the better.

– What Are the Signs of a Controlling Spouse?

Common signs of a controlling husband include:

  • Constant criticism
  • Becoming upset when you make family decisions in their absence
  • Not getting along well when he sees you hanging out with family and friends
  • Constantly monitoring activities on your phone
  • Shifting all the blames to you even when you did nothing wrong.


Divorce controlling husbandThis article has equipped you with tips to divorce a controlling husband, and in summary, we’ve talked about the following issues:

  • Plan ahead if you seek to divorce a controlling husband
  • Minimize communication with your husband by using a lawyer
  • If communicating with your husband becomes inevitable, remain neutral and professional
  • Engage a qualified team for a successful divorce process
  • Seek a restraining order against a violent husband to avoid physical and emotional abuse during divorce

If you’re fed up living with a controlling spouse, it’s best to seek divorce. Divorcing a controlling husband isn’t as difficult as most people think, because they only need to make up their minds and gather the right resources and time. To divorce a controlling husband today, hire an experienced lawyer to guide how best to approach the matter.

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Divorce & Finance