September 26, 2015
In 2005, it became clear to me that my first husband and I were heading towards a divorce. Our son was only two years old at that time. My husband and I had met in law school and started a law firm together, which we had co-operated over the course of several years. Even though my legal practice was devoted to divorce litigation, facing the prospect of my own divorce suddenly paralyzed me with stress and fear.
Divorce stress is medically documented to cause lack of focus, chronic anxiety, worry, insomnia, weight gain, heart disease and a weakened immune system. In short, the stress from a divorce wears a person down; and while I knew it on a professional level, I was now experiencing it first hand.
In my darkest hours, I found myself sitting on my laundry room floor, knees pulled up against my chest while I wondered: "How will I get myself up off this floor to face the train wreck that I have made out of my life?" During this time of divorce transition, I meditated, exercised in nature (hiking/skiing) and learned to engage in creative visualization to map out a positive future. I also learned to take full ownership of how my choices and behavior perpetuated the divorce conflict with my husband.
As the approach I took proved helpful in getting me off the laundry room floor, amicably resolving my divorce and salvaging a friendship with my ex who supports a positive co-parenting relationship for our son, I realized I had done something unique. This lead me to write my book, "Divorce the Drama", aimed at teaching my effective methodology for divorce stress management, which became my opportunity to share the "secret" to my success.
As professionals working with clients who are stressed and unfocused due to divorce, we can use the Divorce The Drama (DTD) methodology to help teach them how to better manage stress while shifting their focus from negative to positive.
The DTD methodology teaches:
1) Self awareness
2) Benefit of a 'Drama Detox' where you get space from your ex and rebuild emotional independence
3) Promotes positive creative visualization that leads to empowerment and an improved sense of self and purpose.
The DTD methodology encourages the client to pivot their focus and shift their energy from negative to positive when speaking of future outcomes. This shift is immensely empowering and stress reducing as it enlists the client to actively focus on attracting what they want for themselves, reduces indecision, anxiety, and worry in this present moment. The result is a client who can productively help his/her legal counsel to help them get them through the divorce process successfully.
Learn more about the DTD methodology in my presentation at the Interdisciplinary Divorce Catalyst Conference October 1-4, 2015.
About: Melissa Sindeband Dragon, Esquire
As the founder of the first holistic family law practice in Massachusetts, Melissa serves as strategic visionary and chief litigator. Melissa uses her legal talent as an advocate to help empower men and women at difficult crossroads in their lives in order to bring them closer to financial independence and emotional tranquility. She brings to bear considerable litigation and negotiation skills to obtain the most favorable results possible for her clients.
Beyond the legal work she does for clients, Melissa also pays close attention to the emotional challenges that clients and in some cases, their children, face. She applies her extensive experience whenever possible or appropriate to ensure her client’s health and safety throughout the process.
Melissa recognizes that while almost any attorney can calculate an equitable property division or support order; compassionate understanding and encouraging support can make a real difference in how a client is able to manage the chaos and emotional stress divorce can bring to their life and the lives of those they love. In the past, she has called upon such resources as a divorce support group in the client’s local area, as well as a financial advisor, therapist, mortgage originator and/or nutritionist.
Follow Melissa on Twitter @DivorceTheDrama
LinkedIn: Melissa Sindeband Dragon