July 28, 2015
The programming for the Catalyst Conference is 2015 is now posted on line at https://www.divorceandfinance.org/conference2015/index.php.
As I prepare for my contribution to this conference, Money Talks: The Psychology of Money and Divorce Finances, I am reminded of the conference mission: to integrate divorce professionals to achieve exceptional results.
I am a family mediator and will be presenting with two colleagues – Ivy Menchel, a certified divorce financial analyst /certified financial planner and Kathleen Donelli, a matrimonial attorney. We also participate on teams in the Collaborative process.
In the cross pollination of ideas, as we bring our distinct professional skills, we are creating a modern day florilegium. We endeavor to combine all our resources to best help clients with oft times the most emotionally laden factor of a divorce or separation: the financial picture.
We all know that a financial settlement is more than just an allocation of hard currency. How we value ourselves, what we believe is possible for us to have or experience in life is often reflected in our relationship with money. We each have a story, a personal blueprint that shapes our perceptions and filters our understanding of others and ourselves. This story may change over time, combining and recombining with other stories and creating new memories of the past, the basis of plans in the present, and inspirations for the future.
While some of us may live in alignment with our actual funds, needs, and expectations, it’s likely that we all have experienced stress around money. It is hard to imagine that our clients, going through a transformative time of change would also not be experiencing stress.
As practitioners, in order for us to have effective conversations with our clients about finances, we first must gain some personal awareness. With this insight framing our discussion, we can more aptly explore with them -- whether we are the mediator facilitating the creation of an informed agreement, or the therapist focusing beliefs, emotions, self-sabotaging behaviors, and coping mechanisms, or the financial advisor focusing on budget and cash flow, or the attorney focusing on legal rights and responsibilities.
We must also consider how our clients’ attitudes may differ from a spouse, and whether our own relationship with money is creating a barrier. Employing a broader vision, we can then focus on techniques to help clients make necessary financial decisions.
Join us as we examine with you the psychology of money and divorce finances.
Abby Rosmarin is Mediation Counsel at the law firm McCarthy Fingar, LLP. She is also a divorce coach in the Collaborative process. Abby is an attorney and a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. She is co- chair of the Westchester Woman’s Bar Association Mediation Committee and the Executive Director of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals.