What if I don’t want a divorce?

Just because your spouse wants a divorce does not mean you have to agree with that decision. Many marriages are ended too quickly, due to the unwillingness of either or both parties to communicate and attempt to rebuild the love they once shared. It is important to explore all options to save your marriage, because once divorce proceedings begin, it is uncommon for the marriage to be revived. If possible, discuss all issues and work towards a mutual understanding to reconcile and rebuild your marriage.

The decision to divorce is rarely something that happens overnight. Your spouse may have made up his or her mind up long ago that divorce is the only option. If this is the case, it is not in your best interest to attempt to legally fight or prevent the divorce.

Your best defense to prevent a divorce is to attempt to save your marriage. This may sound obvious, but this simple approach is often forgotten. Keep in mind that divorce is something that builds slowly; reconciliation is a slow process as well. Do not expect miracles overnight. Stop placing the blame. Try to establish trust. Take the time to listen and understand and recognize your goals as a couple.

If divorce seems to be the only resolution, you must see yourself moving forward in life without your spouse. There are many emotional stages of dealing with a divorce and the sooner you accept each of those stages and move on, the sooner it will be behind you. The recovery period may take longer for some than others and seeking help through a support group near you is always highly encouraged.

You must fight for what is fair, but do not confuse what is fair with revenge. Even though you may not want the divorce, never fight the divorce for the sake of causing difficulty or pain for your spouse. In the short term you may feel some satisfying revenge, but in the long run you, and others in your family, will suffer from severe emotional pain and grief.