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The Association of Divorce Financial Planners (ADFP) is registered with the National Association of State Boards of Accountancy (NASBA) as a sponsor of continuing professional education on the National Registry of CPE Sponsors. State boards of accountancy have final authority on the acceptance of individual courses for CPE credit. Complaints regarding registered sponsors may be addressed to the National Registry of CPE Sponsors, 150 Fourth Avenue North, Suite 700, Nashville, TN, 37219-2417. Web site: www.nasbatools.com.

What if I Do Not Want a Divorce?

Just because your spouse wants a divorce does not mean you have to agree with it! Many marriages are ended too quickly, due to the unwillingness of either or both parties to communicate and attempt to rebuild the love they once shared. It is important to attempt to explore all options to save your marriage, because once the divorce proceedings begin, it is very uncommon for the marriage to be revived. If possible, be sure to discuss all issues at hand and work towards a mutual understanding in stride to reconcile and rebuild your marriage.

Divorce is something that slowly builds. It is rarely something that happens over night. Your spouse may have made up his or her mind up long ago that divorce is the only option. If this is the case, it is not in your best interest to attempt to legally fight or prevent the divorce. Your best defense to prevent the divorce is to attempt to save your marriage. This may sound a little obvious, but this simple approach is often forgotten. Please keep in mind that divorce is something that builds slowly, the process of reconciliation is a slow process as well. Do not expect miracles over night. Stop placing the blame. Try to establish trust. Take the time to listen and understand and recognize your goals as a couple.

If divorce seems to be the only resolution, you must see yourself moving forward in life without your spouse. There are many emotional stages of dealing with a divorce and the sooner you accept it the sooner it will be behind you! The recovery period may take longer for some than others and seeking help through a support group near you is always highly encouraged.

You must fight for what is fair! Do not confuse what is fair with revenge! You must look out for your own and your children's best interest.

Even though you may not want the divorce, never fight the divorce for the sake of causing difficulty or pain for your spouse. In the short term you may feel some satisfying revenge, but in the long run you, and others in your family, will suffer from severe emotional pain and grief.

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